I’m waiting for Brick’s click
And it isn’t far off
It’s hell fight towards it
But once it finally clicks
It was like any other day with me and my best friend Samantha. It was always just the two of us. We were the rejects of this school. We knew of people, but, no one else talked to us. It didn’t really matter because we helped each other through out the years. We were at ourand it was before third period. We didn’t see who did it. It made the day go from good to bad in a split second… a flick of a wrist.
Slushiee Facials were horrible. I’m not going to lie. We heard the laughs as the perp was getting away. “Dammit.” Sam said as we rushed to the girl’s bathroom. I washed off my glasses while Sam was washing her face.
"It’s a food chain Sam. Football players and cheerleaders at the top-"
"And- what? We’re at the bottom? Bullshit." She spat as she washed her hands. "I’m tired of this, Iris." I didn’t even look at her.
"We’re almost seniors! That means we just have to pull through all of this." The bell then rang for class to start. We said our good byes and it was off to class we went.
Spanish was a fun class. Maybe it was because I was good at the language. I like to think that. My teacher is really nice. He’s basically ato me. Even since my own father died three years ago, I always had a somewhat hole that was left. Mr. Schue took me under his wing, so to speak. At least one of the teachers cared about me. I sat in Spanish Two Honors and we finished a test. I didn’t really know my Spanish partner yet because we switched partners last week. I didn’t get along with my old one. All we knew was our names. His was Artie. I had been crushing on him since my freshman year.
"So, how do you think you did?" He asked. I didn’t expect him to really talk to me.
"Eh. I’m thinking I got a C. How about you?" I just realized I could have answered him in Spanish. Stupid, stupid, stupid!
"I’m thinking about a B plus. That was a pretty.” Whew. There was so much time to kill in this class. “Hey, Mr. Schue. Why don’t you play some music?” Was Artie crazy? Did he really just say that? Mr. Schue actually agreed and started playing some songs that I actually knew. The first one had a Latin flair to it mixed with a club feel. I could never understand what the singer was saying but, it felt good to dance to. “Let’s see you dance.”
"I don’t dance. Sorry to disappoint you." I said. I knew that I was able to dance. I just haven’t danced in a. A couple people started dancing to the song and they didn’t care if they were good or not.
"Come on," Artie said "you got to dance!" I shook my head. He sighed. That’s when I felt bad. I knew that he couldn’t dance and here I am; refusing to dance. I thought about it for a few moments and stood up. Last time I tried this, I focus on the lyrics. This time, I focused on the beat. I let it run through my body and take control of my brain. Before I knew it, a little over half the class had joined in.
Did I mention that Artie was smiling at me?
Remaining in the back of minds
-Jade, a conquain (2,4,6,8,2)
A soft push of air
higher and higher they go
softly landing on petals
creates beauty all around
-Jade, a tanka (5,7,5,7,7)
beautiful in every way
Can’t live with them..
Can’t live without them
Friends are everything
Wanna be popular?
I wish for nothing
I have what
for a reason
alright with that
goes the clock
counting away the strands
of the day
He thinks himself
above them all
Old and wise
controlling the hands
But he wishes the best for you
and your family, too
This is Old Grandfather, you see
and he smiles upon thee
SANTA BARBRA 2005
She couldn’t believe that she was doing this. Deagonna was leaving beautiful Santa Barbra. She was leaving her friends, her work… her husband. Shawn. She still hadn’t told him that she was leaving him. Her thick wavy black hair was blown back in the airas she drove home to get her bags. ‘I hope that Shawn is home.’ She thought as she pulled onto her street.
It was about one thirty. He had to be home. His motorcycle was here. So was the tiny blue car that she came to associate with Burton, Shawn’s best friend since grade school. She sighed as she parked the car in park and turned off the engine. ‘Shawn, I’ve thought about this, and I believe that- no. That won’t work.’ She thought as she entered the two bedroom house. As usual, Shawn and Gus were talking about their pasts. “Oh, hey, Dea. How was your day?” He got up and gave her a slight kiss.
She sighed before saying “Gus, I told you to call me Dea. It’s a nickname.” She then turned toward her husband and added “It was good. I solved another case today. We got an anonymous tip today.” Shawn chuckled and looked slightly at Gus. There seemed to be something that he wasn’t telling her.
"Another case? That’s crazy!" Shawn gave a. “Oh, I can smell the irony. It smells like bananas.”
"Shawn, Bananas don’t have iron in them. Red meat has iron in them-"
"I’ve heard it both ways, Gus." Dea sighed at the banter.
"What did you do now, Shawn? I thought you were done with that!" She raised her voice a little bit at him.
"Can you let me explain?" Shawn quickly said before continuing "I’m now a consultant for the SBPD and Gus and I have our own office now." Deagonna looked at him with an eyebrow raised in curiosity.
"Shawn, what kind of consultant?" She asked. Her dark brown eyes were glaring at him, and then she looked at Gus. She knew that Gus couldn’t lie to her. "Gus? You care to tell me what’s going on?" She smiled sweetly.
"Gus… buddy. Don’t give into her sugary sweet smile. It’s too late for me, but, you can save yourself!" Shawn exclaimed dramatically.
"Shawn and I have acalled Psych because to police think Shawn is psychic”, Gus said quickly. He looked over at Shawn and said “I can’t help it with her smile, Shawn. You know that!” Whoa- wait. Shawn is lying to the police? He’s lying to her boss’ boss and her (kind of) co-workers?
"Damn it, Shawn! What the hell are you guys thinking? I work there! I need these people to trust me! That’s it. I’m done with you” Dea was livid. She gave a noise of anger before heading up to their bedroom.
"Shawn, you’ve done it now."
"Gus, shut up."
"I’m just saying-"
"Gus, seriously. I’m trying to hear."
"Hear your thoughts. I’m trying to hear what she’s doing obviously." These house was quiet except for the sounds of drawers opening and closing up in their bedroom. He then heard zippers opening and closing. That’s when he realized: she was really done. Deagonna was packing up her bags and leaving.
"What do you hear?"
Shawn sighed and looked down. “I hear the ending of a marriage.”
"Tell me about yourself." She said before tuning on the radio in my truck. I didn’t really care because all we were going to doing was driving and talking. We had gone to school together for at least the last four years and I didn’t notice her until now. Damn, I’m stupid. I kept my gaze on the road. She and Iris hadn’t been with each other ever since the last slushiee incident. "Why are you being- never mind."
"Why am I being so what?" I asked. I knew next to nothing about her, but, it seemed that she had some kind of magic without even realizing it.
"Why are you being so nice?" She finally asked after a couple moments of silence. I sighed before trying to think of my answer. The truth: I didn’t know. She was… intriguing, I wanted to know more. "Oh, no smartass answer? Surprising." She sounded so cold when she talked.
"I could kick you out. This is my truck, isn’t it? Besides, since we don’t know each other, what better way than just go on a drive." I had just filled this old thing right before I saw her walking. She turned the radio on and a soft country melody started playing. "You like country? Wow."
"Is that a problem? I can get out-"
"No. It’s fine." I glanced over to her. I didn’t know her that much. In fact, before tonight, all I knew was her name. She looked over and her ice blue eyes seemed to pierce me.
"What’re you looking at?" She spat. I then switched my view back on the road. The sun had gone down about an hour ago and the full moon shone brightly in the sky. It seemed to make her glow… it was like she belonged there. She could have chosen to just keep walking and they wouldn’t be here, just driving around Lima.
Girl I know I don’t know you
But your pretty little eyes so blue
Are pulling me in
Like the moon on your skin
"Why did you come with me?" I asked. "You could have kept walking." Barely knowing each other and she jumped into my dusty truck and agreed to drive around with me until who knew how long into the night. She scoffed.
"I was bored." She added. Sam then leaned her head back on the seat. While she let her hair out of her ponytail, she muttered "I just don’t want to go home." I had to blink a couple times. Someone that always seemed so happy didn’t want to go to the place where they’re supposed to be safe? Damn.
"Why?" I whispered. "Why don’t you want to go home?" I didn’t see her face, but, she sounded ticked.
"Why should I tell you?" She said before switching the radio station.
"You’re in this car with me, right? Don’t you trust me?" I asked. She just kept looking ahead and sighed.
"I don’t want to go home because of my dad. He… he likes to hit my mom around and that’s when he’s sober and in a good mood…" She trailed off in her sentence. To go through that and have that hanging over you every day… I felt like an asshole or treating her and Iris like shit.
"Oh, I didn’t-"
"You didn’t know? That’s what everyone says." For a couple minutes, all you could hear was the radio. "Do you know where the hell you’re going?" She finally asked.
"No, I’m just driving. Why?" I then saw it: the sign tat said ‘Welcome to Akron’. Great. This will look great at the next meeting. "Relax, Sam. Everything will be fine. You trust me enough, right?" I gave her a smile and for the first time that night, she smiled back.
I’m so glad you trusted me
To slide up on this dusty seat
And let your hair down
Get out of town
She rolled down the window and looked up at the sky. “God, I love the sky at night. It’s just so… pretty.” I chuckled.
"Never thought you would use the word ‘pretty’." She seemed like someone who would use another word to describe something so beautiful.
"Fine then, Mr. Wordsmith. What should I use, then?" She asked. I waited a moment to pick the perfect word.
"Stunning." I looked at her and she was giving a warm smile. I smiled back at her. She was finally warming up to me. Judging how she was at the park, I thought she was just a cold bitch. She then heard a song on the radio and gave a huge grin.
"I love this song!" I chuckled and recognized the song as I Love Rock n’ Roll by Joan Jett. This night was going the way I wanted it to.
Got the stars coming out over my hood
And all I know now is it’s going good
When the chorus started, she looked like she was having fun. She threw her hands up in the air as she sang “So, come and take the time and dance with me!” I smiled when I saw that she was having fun, listening to the radio. She must have listened to this station because she seemed to recognize that song too. It seemed that for the first time tonight, she was having fun. This is how she really was. I had to push these thoughts away because I knew that she was be… distracting and I didn’t want us get into a car accident. I shook my head and glanced at the time. Twelve fourteen. Six hours until sunrise.
You got your hands up
You’re rocking in my truck
You got the radio on
You’re singing every song
Unfortunately, I was getting tired. I had set my truck on cruise control, Like that would help. I couldn’t get mind off of her and I couldn’t stop looking over at her. She had me under her spell and I think she knew it. It was getting harder and harder to keep my concentration on the road all because of Sam. I had seen a warmer side to her and it was different than her usual ‘cold bitch’ act that she does.
God, she looked great tonight. I’m glad that she had climbed into my truck and stayed for the ride. She was still singing along loudly to the radio as I turned down another street. I still couldn’t believe how long we had been driving. Could she really trust me enough to do that?
I’m set on cruise control
I’m slowly losing hold
Of everything I got
You’re looking so damn hot
She turned down the radio and she surprised me. “One question: where the hell are we?” Good question. I hadn’t seen any signs about where we were or where we had been.
"Uhhh… I’m guessing we’re near Carmel High School." I replied back. I saw a sign that had pointed the school out. Sam seemed liked she didn’t care. As long as she wasn’t as home, she was fine.
"Are you okay? Driving, I mean." She asked me.
"Yeah, I’m fine." I answered back, blinking a few times to keep myself awake. I seriously didn’t know where we were. I didn’t know how we got there. But, I didn’t want her to go. I enjoyed being lost with her. We went from being dislikes to somewhat friends within a night. Give me another couple days with her, and she’ll be under my spell. Or is it more the other way around? Maybe the reason why I didn’t know where we were was I was concentrating on her and not where we went. Damn, I’m an idiot. I might ave gotten us lost because of her. I then realized that I didn’t care. As long as I was with her, I was fine.
And I don’t know what road we’re on
Or where we’ve been
From staring at you girl
All I know is I don’t want this night to end
"Are you sure you don’t want to pull over and rest? You look tired." She said with concern. Rest. Sleep. That did sound pretty good.
"Can you promise me something?"
"Depends on what it is."
"Can you stay here with me?" Silence. She looked at me.
"Of course." It wasn’t just a ‘yes’. For some reason, I knew she wouldn’t leave. She smiled as I pulled over to the side of the road. Once I put the truck in park, she gave me a kiss. It lingered on my lips even after she pulled away. I then leaned over towards her and planted a soft kiss on her lips. So soft, so tender. It was like a drug to me, I seemed to get drunk just off the two kisses. When I pulled away, she smiled and whispered, "I’ve been waiting for you to do that all night."
"I’m glad I did." I whispered back. I looked at the time. Three thirty-five in the morning. "Well, we can talk or we can sleep. Your choice."
She smiled and then replied in a soft voice, “let’s just sleep. I know I’m tired and you look tired.” We unhooked our seatbelts and cuddled together. She fell asleep with her head on my shoulder and I felt like I could fall into place with her.
Do anything to make your smile
Land on my lips
Get drunk on your kiss
Clock on the dash says 3:35
Sleep. It’s such a strange word, isn’t it? It can cause a blissful feeling and can cause tears. It can drive someone to go insane. I never thought about the word until these past couple of days. My attendant has told me that I’ve been sleepwalking. There was something in her eyes that told me that she was hiding something. I must have been doing or saying other things. I sat on my bed, lonely that my husband was busy with some imbecile war. Was I the one who had caused this war? I didn’t kill King Duncan though. It was my husband, Macbeth. He did the deed. I just planted the idea in his small brain of his. He would never get to where he is without me. He would never have this power… all this fortune.
I pushed these seemingly angry thoughts to the back of my mind as I got up and sat in front of my vanity. My light green eyes just seemed to stare blankly back at me. I had looked like I had aged ten years. I was starting to get little grey hairs and there were dark bags around my eyes. Were these bags trying to tell me something? Should I come clean and lose my crown? No! I worked hard to get this crown! I couldn’t now! I looked down at my hands… they looked to be stained with blood. They were clean a minute ago, weren’t they? My eyes got wide and I headed into my washroom to clean my hands of this blood. The cold water froze my hands, but, the blood…
It wouldn’t come off. I knew that no one could come into my room and see this. I locked the door and pushed my bookcase in front of it. How could I still have this blood on my hands? It wouldn’t wash off…
It must have been my mind. Maybe I was sleep deprived. I laid back onto my bed, my reddish-brown hair seeming to spill all over the pillow. I turned onto my back and my eyelids seemed to weigh a thousand pounds. I quickly fell into a dream.
Dunsinane was in ruins. Buildings were now piles of rubble. I made my way through the town: every building was worse than the one before it. I finally made my way to the castle. It seems that I had walked in on the so- called ‘loyal subjects’ tearing down the castle. They were pounding in the stones that had held up the castle. “It’s coming down!” Someone had yelled. The ones that were working on tearing this place down quickly backed up out of the way.
“Quickly, this way.” I heard a man’s voice whisper. I turned around and there wasn’t anyone there. I knew that I had a puzzling look on my face. Was I losing my mind? I had made it this far. I couldn’t afford to start losing my mind now. “Milady, my Lord, this way. You two can escape.” It was like this voice should be coming from a person in front of me. I then looked towards the castle. I was hearing everything that the other me was hearing… I had to see where they were.
I caught a lucky break. I could see an older Macbeth and an older… me seemed to be climbing over the castle wall and down a ladder. I sprinted towards the castle wall and made my way towards the wall near them. I heard the small thump of feet hitting grass. The same sound was repeated soon after. “Faster!” I heard Macbeth hiss. They started running and I knew that the two of them were trying to get away from this. I could feel my own heart pounding and my breathing getting heavier. I realized that everything that happened to her… I could feel it.
“Macbeth, let’s stop, please.”
“We have to keep going. You said-“
“Forget everything that I said! All the things I said was to be in power. This power caused us to be chased out of the castle. We have to come clean.” She wants to come clean? I would never do that. If Macbeth and were to come clean, we would be hanged for sure.
“We can’t do that. We have to run.” I could feel that she had grabbed his arm hard to keep him from leaving.
“Macbeth, please…” She felt so strong about this.
“I said… we’re going.” He had pulled away from her. She was staying there though. I could tell because I didn’t feel that she was walking.
“No. I’m staying.” It happened so fast. I felt this unbearable pain in my right side. It brought me to my knees. I knew that he had stabbed her. The pain shot through my body as I laid there. I think that he was twisting the knife because I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I just laid there and my eyes closed.
When I woke up in my bed, I flashed my eyes open and breathed a sigh of relief. It was night though and a storm had come in. I could hear the heavy tapping of the rain against my window. The thunder boomed before the lightening lit up my entire room.
I thought about my life and what I did to be able to have this power. Power. It’s funny what people will do for power. Some people will do anything… they would kill, maim, trick, deceit, and cheat. Some people want nothing to do with power. I honestly would like to be one of those people. I know what I did was wrong. I know that if the truth comes out, I would die. I sat up and I thought about coming clean. I couldn’t ruin this for Macbeth. He was loved and respected by everyone in the kingdom. I ruined that. I feel like I ruined everything. It seems like Macbeth has a good grip on everything. I don’t need this life. I want to better myself. If I come clean, then Macbeth and I will surely die. He can’t die. Someone needs to be king. There has to be a way for me to get out of this life and for Macbeth to be king. There just has to be…
I had to go out for a walk. That’s what I did whenever I needed a problem solved. I would just go walking. Once the storm had passed and I could see the full moon, I told my attendant that I was going for a walk. “Let me come with you.” What harm could that do? I nodded my head.
We started down towards a path towards a place that was eerily familiar. It was quiet except for the sound of our footsteps. We stopped in front of this giant black iron gates. On top of the gates, it read ‘Cemetery.’ “I’ll be right back.” I didn’t even give her a chance to disagree. I rushed in there so quickly so she couldn’t stop me. I just started running in the cemetery so I could get away from my attendant. On the walk here, I realized that I didn’t want this life anymore. I realized that I had to choose death over life. It would hurt Macbeth, but, it had to be done. I looked around for a specific tombstone. I stopped when I found it. It was a fresher grave than the ones around. ‘Here Lies King Duncan’. That’s when I knew that I found. I kneeled next to it.
I took out the dagger that Macbeth had given me for protection. “I’m sorry,” I whispered before plunging the dagger in my chest. I gasped in pain as I kneeled up against the grave, slowly bleeding out… dying.
I always wonder how Macbeth reacted to the news of my death. Death. Such a strange thing, isn’t it? Most people fear it. Some wait for it. Some can’t wait for it. It’s funny how three things can shape and… change people for the better or the worse. It sure changed me for the worse.